i sit here in a total daze knowing full well how doctors are human and make mistakes ..but truly how long are these mistakes allowed to be carried on ..?? And when does the line of improper care really sit at.?? And worse how sick and what must we lose before we can say you have ruined my life..?

It certainly makes me wonder as i get a report back on a level that should have been watched closely by my doctor.. One that could change me both inside and out ..One that could turn me into a person i do not like to be...One that could make my illness shine through so badly that i destroy everything around me including myself.. One that could cause months of pain through break downs and physical health ..but worse end a relationship i never wanted to ever lose..

So how far is too much to allow a level to get so out of whack that it destroys the person with that level..??

Sure makes me wonder.. cause this is exactly what happened to me and the ones around me that watched me falter and become near like a poison to them.. hangs my head.. and i fear to the point that they are now gone for good in so many ways...

You almost sit here and wonder if you can not trust the ones that are to take care of you .. is it worth even trying to care if you live or shall die..

Thanks doc you took the one main thing that kept me going day in and day out and i wonder why i carry on.. and near took the other thing that helps me to go on..

hangs my head and cries.. they maybe able to fix me again ..but that will never fix what was destroyed i fear